KEITH RICHARD WALKS OFF STONES TOUR
Doesn't know why he was there in the first place, says
all a dream
NEW YORK (Combined wired services)-In a move that has
shocked rock 'n' roll to its roots, former Rolling
Stone Keith Richard has left the Stones, telling
reporters he is really a suburban Cleveland dentist
and doesn't know what he was doing with the band in
the first place.
In a story reminiscent of
the recent hit film, "Men In
Black II", Richard, who says his real name is Irving
Schwartz, said the last thing he remembers was
excising a molar from an Ohio construction worker--in
1962.
"I wasn't finished,
I know that," said
Richard/Schwartz, harboring no trace of his trademark
British accent. "That guy had a mouth full of
cavities. Root canal was a distinct possibility.
Gosh, I hope his mouth is OK."
Asked whether he could explain
the sad shape of his
own mouth, Schwartz replied, "Well, normally my
brother Sol works on my teeth." When told that Sol
was probably dead, the former rock 'n' roller said,
"Well I guess that explains it, then."
Stones frontman Keith Richard
was pretty succinct.
"He'll be back," Richard laughed. "Last week the
bloke thought he was Maggie Thatcher."