NON-CELEBRITY OF THE MONTH

Alvin Lee Fopler

Alvin Lee Fopler didn't have much of a reaction when
he learned he had been named (a)Muszine's
Non-Celebrity of the Month. "Shucks," he said
nonchalantly. "I didn't do nothin', really," When
told that was the point, he just shrugged. "Well, OK,
I guess. Do ya want me to smile or somethin for a
picture?"

Fopler thought it might have been his town connection.
"I live in Alvin, Texas. And my first name is Alvin.
Oh well."

Alvin Lee farms for a living, but he spends a lot of
his spare time with his prize heifer, Bessie. Bessie
could not be reached for comment. When asked if his
wife might wish to say a few words to us, Fopler
became uneasy and made a beeline for the barn, where
we discovered an unusual stench and some human
remains.
(ED. NOTE: Fopler was subsequently arrested for the
hacking death of his wife and is therefor ineligible
for future "Non-Celebrity of the Month" awards)