THE MEDICAL ADVISER

by Dr. Rob Fister. M.D. (not really)

Greetings once again. Today I wish to talk you about
a whole new kind of 12-step program. No, this isn't
the one for alky's. These twelve steps are for those
people who have a problem controlling their physical
urges once they become priests. Now, I'm not going to
give spiritual advice. Heck, I'm barely qualified to
be a doctor.

Step 1: Stop touching those young boys.
Step 2: I said, stop touching those young boys!
Step 3: It's really not OK to touch young boys.
Step 4: OK, it's OK to OCCASIONALLY touch young
boys, but only during ring-o-leevio.
Step 5: You need to touch something else.
Step 6: Oh no, there's those young boys again.
Step 7: This isn't ring-o-leevio.

As you can see, these ideas still need some work. I
know Step 12 is to say 'I'm sorry to everybody I've
ever hurt', but by that time we're washing cars at
Sausalito, and we're having a good time with brushes.
So until next time, this is Dr. Fister, reminding you
that prosthetic limbs are NOT toys. Happy eating!